By Sarah Gorban
In Search of ‘Ctrl Z’
As I sit at a computer, the fingers move to press
‘Ctrl Z’ as if a redo of history could cleanse
a COVID world of the reality to reside
There is a shift to ‘Ctrl F’
with the search for keywords
“peace,” “joy,” “hugs and kisses”
anticipating the impending “No matches”
for the search is of relocating the misplaced
Q: What is reality?
A: The mere arrival of existence is vague with the sometimes noting, “you have done well,” among the light of day, careful to note this reality is of an –ies, with the watchmakers waiting to reset the tired hands.
Q: What is change?
A: Among those nights, two whispers arose, the first in the form of waves that reminds of change as motion and movement with the temptation to believe that tomorrow will save us, the second whisper arose as sinking for the tide arrived from the lunar eclipse, guiding the tides that sink then suffocate to then surface once more.
Q: What will come of me, us, humanity, these worlds? …
A: The crystal ball, once clear with intention, remains as a muddled sight among an all-day scrub-to-shine, to then be tossed and replaced with a flower with the plucking of the petals and the wishing a naked stem could reveal answers with the same conviction as “they love me, they love me not, they love me, they love me not”.
Q: What does it mean to be okay and will it be okay? A: Ask again later
Sarah Gorban received a degree in Neuroscience and is completing a doctorate in pharmacy at the University of North Carolina. She has been published through Trinity University, Dissonance Magazine, Global Poemic, Orange Blush Zine, Trouvaille Review and is forthcoming at Polemical Zine, Eunoia Review and in an anthology at Rudderless Mariner Poetry. Sarah can be found usually on adventures and searching to experience moments more subjectively.
Part of me thinks it would be beneficial to overview my thought processes, feelings and intentions with the COVID-19 related poems. Another part of me, stronger than the former, feels that specific context is not necessary and that the reader(s) will depart with what they need, even if the ‘need,’ was not known before reading.
I am writing from Chapel Hill, North Carolina. More specifically, I am on a couch in an apartment and most of these poems were written on some type of couch (one on a bed).